Buffalo Theory

In one episode of 'Cheers', Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to Norm.

"Well you see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it's the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers...."

You know it makes sense!

EL Wisty in space

Now here's an interesting fact, as the late, great, Peter Cook may have said when adopting the persona of EL Wisty.

I caught the last bit of the Royal Institution of Great Britain Christmas Lectures on TV this evening, and discovered that the little chip on your credit or debit card (as in "Chip & PIN") has 30 times more computing power and 100 times the memory of the computer that was the guidance system which took Apollo 11 to the moon in 1969.

Just take a moment to think about that.

Absolutely incredible, and something which clearly supports Moore's Law which basically states that every two years the number of transistors which can be placed on a circuit board doubles. This law is also generally taken to apply to the characteristics of lots of electronic devices, such as memory etc. I still remember big old radios full of lovely glowing hot valves. Fortunately by the time I was being taught Radio, TV and Electronics Servicing at college the transistor age was well and truly here, so the age of fragile valves, like that of steam, had gone.

Incidentally, have a look at the video below (WARNING - PG) to see the unedited original reaction of Neil Armstrong to his one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind! A version is also on my own Website.

Charity - resistance is futile

It's that time of year again, when everything on TV in the UK, well on the BBC anyway, is given over to their Children in Need appeal whereby otherwise normal "celebrities" and presenters such as newsreaders etc make complete arses of themselves in the name of charity.

This is the one day in the year when, if I'm watching television, there's no way the TV will be tuned to any BBC channels!

I subscribe to the sentiment of the image on the right, and I make no apologies for repeating it after I posted it last year too!

Oh, by the way, if you want to donate to the BBC appeal, and you'll get no sympathy from me if you do, then you can click the link in the first sentence of this post. Just don't tell anyone you got there from my Blog!



One spinoff from not watching BBC this evening, although I don't want to suggest that I always only watch their channels, is that I'm currently watching, on Virgin, Star Trek: Voyager, and it's one of the earliest episodes featuring Seven of Nine, played by Jeri Ryan (see photo).

Apparently, I read somewhere ages ago, the costume features very little "enhancement" and it's all her own, as it were.

And very nice too!

Rainbow

Class! This episode was apparently made as a joke for a Christmas special for the Thames TV staff and was never intended to be viewed by the public until Channel 4 played it in 1997.

A year later

It's pretty well a whole year since I completely snapped my Achilles Tendon while playing badminton, on Sunday 18th March 2007.

A couple of months of being in a non-weight-bearing plaster cast, 3 months off work, lots of months of physiotherapy, and a year down the line my left calf is still noticeably smaller than my right one due to muscle wastage when the cast was on, and I still have to concentrate on not limping.

Relatively recently I realised that the reason I keep getting cramp and aches in my left calf is because without having noticed it I now tend to walk with the muscles of my left leg tensed. When I manage to relax it I can walk a lot better and without limping, but I have to think about it as it doesn't come naturally yet. It'll come though, I hope.

So, since my previous post what has happened? I made a fairly rare purchase from Amazon. Rare these days anyway, although I used to buy a lot more from the site. A couple of posts ago I mentioned a few books which had been recommended to me, so that's me bought all three. Additionally I chucked both the Long Way Round and Long Way Down DVDs onto the order because although I've seen various individual episodes I haven't seen either series in its entirety. I really shouldn't place orders online after returning home from the pub, because I also added something off my Amazon Wish List, namely a digital photo frame.

In the flat I rented for a while before buying this house I had my PC in the living room, and quite enjoyed the experience of watching the screen saver of my photos randomly displayed (or rather, displayed in a random order). Since moving however, the PC is in a separate room and I've been missing seeing the photos. No one really ever looks through their photos and I found the screen saver to be a good way of looking at them with no effort involved. So anyway, I have been looking for a digital photo frame for a while, but haven't seen any, apart from pretty expensive ones, that I fancied.

So, I bought an expensive one. On the bright side I saved over £100 on the list price, but it was still well over £100! And it's a 10" one rather than the more usual 7"-8", so although size isn't everything (!) it means I can see it from the other side of the room quite easily.

And it's Wi-Fi enabled so I can just connect to my home network and display all the photos on my PC without having to transfer them to the frame. In theory anyway. I'm having a few teething problems and although I have connected it to the network, it keeps rebooting randomly every so often, so this week I'll have a proper look at it to see if there's something in the settings I need to change. Otherwise it'll go back to Amazon to be replaced.

On Saturday evening a friend, RE, and I were invited to a whisky tasting evening at G&G's house. Could have been messy, but it was actually damned civilised! When we were told about it, in the pub last week, there was some discussion about what the dress code would be, and "dress posh" seemed to be the order of the day, but in the event it didn't end up like that. However in the meanwhile I had decided that this was probably just the right time to splash out on some new accessories for my kilt. I've had the kilt for a number of years, but generally when I wear it it's worn casually with a big jumper and some heavy boots, and when I need the formal look I've always hired the smart jacket and brogues etc.

As an aside, my kilt is the Scottish Rugby Union (SRU) tartan which is rather nice I think (see image).

So I went to Slaters Menswear and bought an Argyll jacket in a lovely charcoal grey colour and with bone buttons rather than silver so it's kind of semi formal, ghillie brogues, black socks, black sock flashes, and a new kiltpin. All for the bargain price of about £200.

As I say, the whisky tasting turned out not to be a posh dress event, but I wore the kilt anyway, and I'm very pleased to have at last got round to buying the stuff I have spent a fortune hiring over the past years! And a good time was had by all while tasting the whisky.

Next weekend will see this year's Motorcycle Action Group Easter Egg Run from the SECC to Yorkhill Children's Hospital in Glasgow, with 3000+ bikers bearing donations and Easter Eggs, and RE has agreed to accompany me by riding pillion on the bike. This morning then was a small scale trial run when we made sure she was OK riding pillion and I was OK with her on the back. Went well, exceptionally well, and we both enjoyed the experience, made better by having a decent intercom so we could speak to each other as we went along. So next Sunday, Easter Day, should be fun. I will, of course, report on it in due course.

Hairy Bikers

If you haven't managed to catch The Hairy Bikers on tv, you should do so. A couple of, well, hairy bikers who do cooking around the world on their travels. I recommend it.

4077

Just watching M*A*S*H: 30th Anniversary Reunion on TV. One or two observations regarding this iconic programme:

• It's much better without the canned laughter soundtrack which is evident on the current/recent re-runs on cable TV. I don't need canned laughter to tell me when something is funny. A number of years ago a friend who was a TV sound engineer let me into a little trade secret where during live recordings they sometimes play soft canned laughter through the studio sound system to encourage (i.e. trick) the audience to laugh because the herd instinct is apparent in all of us. People don't realise it's canned laughter and think it's other audience members laughing, so they join in.
  

• Hotlips Houlihan (actress Loretta Swit) nowadays has obviously and unattractively had collagen implants in her lips. Nasty. Not quite as bad as those sported by the formerly lovely Leslie Ash, but bad enough.
  

• The theme tune, Suicide is Painless, as well as being a favourite of mine is one of the relatively limited number of tunes I could play on the guitar prior to my efforts on said instrument being curtailed by a musical accident when aged 17 whereby I successfully, and rather painfully, lost the tip of my left index finger while helping to build a church organ. Yes, really!

Anyway, the 30th anniversary programme was quite good.

A class act

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the mixed martial art sport of K-1, and in particular the rather spectacularly good Ernesto Hoost. Don't watch it if you don't like watching boxing, because this goes much further and is so much better.

I used to watch this a lot when I had Sky in a previous house, but it doesn't seem to have reached any of the channels on Virgin Media at all.

Success!

Well, that's the bike one done and I have now been proposed as a full member of the Institute of Advanced Motorists.

Just the car one to concentrate on now.

Since embarking on the quest to pass my bike test, on the 18th July 2007, I have had two official observed runs, and a couple of unofficial ones, as well as a couple of longer Sunday runs which happened to be accompanied by observers although the objectives those days were not to assist me, but to have fun.

For various reasons I was unable to take part in many of the Wednesday night observed runs. The bike broke down in torrential rain shortly after my initial meeting on 18th July, and took ages (and a lot of money) to dry out and get started again, during which time the MOT expired, so because of that and my unavailability for other reasons it was a full six weeks later, 29th August, before I was able to attend my second Wednesday session. Unfortunately the following Wednesday was when the car training was due to start, so it looked like I was going to have to stop the bike training until next year until Eddie, my observer that evening, being of the opinion that I was already fairly close to test standard, made arrangements for me to go out with another observer, Stuart, on a different evening. As things turned out we managed only twice, 11th September and 30th September, and since these were unofficial ones my progress card wasn't completed so I have had four observed runs but my card only shows two. A breakdown of communications on my part meant that Stuart, realising I was ready, thought I had already applied for my test, but I was waiting for him to confirm to me that I was ready and to tell me to apply for it, so that held things up slightly. My fault though!

Thanks are due to various people whose paths have crossed mine on the way to today:

John O'Donnell who took me out on my initial observed run. Eddie Roney who took me out on my second observed run, and when he found out I was starting my car training so couldn't continue the bike stuff on a Wednesday until next year he kindly arranged another observer to accompany me on an alternative "unofficial" night. Eddie was also there on both of the Sunday runs, and offered praise and criticism as appropriate and deserved. Not only that but he managed to acquire for me a copy of the Strathclyde Police Bikesafe DVD, which is very interesting and useful. Stuart (apologies, I never did find out your surname!) who was the observer who agreed to accompany me at mutually acceptable times. With life being busy for both of us we only managed it twice, but it was a very useful twice. Nigel Bowers, who sent me a copy of his Ride to Survive 2007 DVD. Bob Young, the senior observer who conducted my mock test during a Sunday run. Sandra Neillis, the Glasgow North Group secretary, who processed my test application, and who previously took the time to call me and encourage me after I emailed my initial enquiry about joining the group. And last but not least, David Morrison, the examiner, a retired police officer and holder of a Class 1 Police Advanced Riding certificate (as indeed is Nigel). You cannot get a higher motorcycling qualification than that. Class 1 riders really are experts, in the truest sense of the word, and us mere mortals can only look on their skills with envy, and aspire to get as close to their standard as we can!

This is getting to be like an Oscars acceptance speech!

Basically the people named above have demonstrated again and again that motorcyclists are different from car drivers. We actually do tend to stick together and give of our time and experience to assist other motorcyclists in lots of ways. Everyone above has gone out of their way to help me pass my Advanced Motorcycling test. They didn't have to do it, but they did. And that counts for a lot in my book.

I don't know what the motorcycling future holds for me in respect of further training, but I am thinking about trying to qualify as an observer so that I can pay back some of the time and effort expended by others on me to get me where I am now. That'll be a project for next year though.

Thank you one and all. And apologies if I've missed anyone.

Now, I have my mock Advanced Car Driving test tonight. Let's see how that goes ..........

Update: I passed the mock car test too. Now the next thing is a drive with a senior observer and providing that goes OK I'll be applying for my test soon, I hope.

Further update: Just watching The Long Way Down on TV whereby Ewan McGregor's wife, Eve, has just joined them in Malawi and is riding a motorcycle. It has made me remember how completely sexy a woman dressed in motorcycle leathers is! Sorry if that sounds sexist, but sue me, I am only human!

In need of what exactly?

Tonight is a very special night in the Lay Clerk household.

Tonight is the annual event in which I participate which involves switching off the television and, just to be on the safe side, unplugging it from the wall!

Yes indeed, tonight is BBC Children in Need night, when the gullible, and easily distracted by shiny things, general pubic join Z-list celebrities, has-beens and never-weres in a frenzy of shite "entertainment" designed to raise money for brats who are probably so underprivileged they don't know from where their next X-Box or iPod is coming.

You can almost smell the tangible smugness oozing from the pores of Terry "oleaginous" Wogan as he presents BBC's annual offering, while no doubt mentally adding up the obscene amount of money he gets paid from my annual TV licence fee for doing so (£9,065 for a 7 hour stint in 2005, for example), and that's over and above the £800,000 he gets paid for hosting the BBC Radio 2 breakfast show. If you'd like to help support Terry financially, and remember, he's the only "celebrity" who accepts a fee for this trashy drivel, feel free to click on the image of the disabled bear at the top of the page. It'll take you to the appropriate BBC page where they can fleece you most effectively.

Anyway, my position is clear, and is illustrated by the image on the right.

Lay Clerk. The Voice of Reason. You know it makes sense!

Humbuggery

Isn't this a nice tree? The only time I have felt vaguely Chritmassy so far is when we were putting up and decorating this huge tree in the Cathedral last Saturday. Since then, pretty well nothing.

I am currently finishing off a bottle of Brothers Pear Cider, given to me by GS & GS who have been raving about it for ages. Very nice indeed. But I still don't feel festive.

So since finishing work on Friday I have spent about 3 hours on Saturday at the Cathedral climbing up and down ladders putting up then decorating the tree (two female members of the choir are also on the vestry and were the sole members of the erection committee - insert your own punchline here). Sunday saw the usual Eucharist at 1030hrs followed by 8 of us indulging in a very nice lunch in the Lansdowne pub nearby. I had about 35 minutes at home then had to leave to buy a last minute present enroute to the carol service which was at 1830hrs (preceded of course by a rehearsal starting at 1645hrs). So off home then at about 2000hrs but back to the Lansdowne at 2130hrs for a pre-rehearsal refreshment and then the midnight mass. And so to bed at about 0200hrs and up again for the 1030hrs Eucharist on Christmas morning. Too much.

I can't be arsed listing all the music we have sung in the past few days, but one highlight was a damn fine rendition of Darke's In the Bleak Midwinter (aka In the BMW) which I am told reduced our Director of Music FW to tears (I didn't notice this) causing CG to comment that perhaps next time he'll cry because it was good! Another moment was O Magnum Mysterium by Morten Lauridson which is a lovely piece of music. Very atmospheric.

Yesterday, Christmas day, I had plans to do bugger all. A friend who was working said she'd possibly manage to visit at some point in the day, which I thought would probably mean evening time if at all. To my surprise and delight she called a bit after 1pm to say she was about to leave work and could come round. So we both enjoyed a very nice roast beef dinner and watched the usual crap Christmas TV for a while. A good day.

We've got a nice wee break from the Cathedral, well one week anyway, before Epiphany when we are singing a choral mass but haven't seen the music yet. I think it's some Haydn or something, so shouldn't be too stressful to sight-read.

Just Google it

Good advice I think you'll agree!

This morning, the first day of a week of holiday, I was up and about not long after 7am. The Cathedral choir was singing live on BBC Radio 4 LW on the Daily Service. Only 15 minutes, and only 3 hymns, so not too stressful, considering it was live radio. In the unlikely event you'd like to hear it, for the next 7 days it's available by clicking here then selecting the "listen again" link for 11th December. Don't know what it sounded like though. Far too early on a Monday morning to sing properly! We even did a metrical psalm. What are we, Presbyterians all of a sudden!

The weather here is absolutely crap (well I am on holiday after all) so I've done nowt since returning from the broadcast except lie on the sofa watching UKTV History and listening to the rain battering the window. I might venture outdoors tomorrow if it's a bit better, and at least now I'm much better informed about Isambard Kindom Brunel's ship The Great Eastern, and about the building of the Panama Canal!

Went into the all new Junkyard Dog on Saturday night. Loud music, no real ale, and a pint of Kronenbourg Blanc cost me £4.20! That's the last £4.20 they'll get from me I think! Robbing bastards!

School's back

Haven't been posting much lately. Too busy/lazy!

Well the Cathedral Choir has started again. We sang at a wedding on Saturday where the bride was 25 minutes late. Eventually a message got through to say what the delay was. She was stuck behind an Orange Walk. Only in Glasgow .......!

Sunday was back to normal services. The morning was, well, it was Eucharist, although I managed to stay awake for most of it. Evensong went really well and we all seemed to gel together again fairly quickly. Then after Evensong to the Junkyard Dog where, since this was the first post-Evensong refreshment since moving to the West End (half an hour's walk from the Cathedral) from my old house (20 minutes drive) I was determined to take full advantage and was damned sure I was going to have at least 3 pints even if I didn't want them! I needn't have worried, I didn't need to force them down, and in fact managed without difficulty to pass my target!

Was at the Edinburgh Military Tattoo (sponsored by the Royal Bank of Scotland) on Monday evening. I watch it, and enjoy it, on TV most years and for the past few I've thought about getting tickets only after it's sold out. But this year I was given a pair of tickets for my birthday by my wife. We obviously didn't know back at the start of the year that by the time of the show (sponsored by the Royal Bank of Scotland) we would have separated, and I had in fact hoped that she would have still been able to come with me, but she had booked a holiday so wasn't available. Instead I went with a friend IF (works for the Royal Bank of Scotland) and I have to say it was a great show. In fact it was a really enjoyable trip to Edinburgh, the great whore of the east. Most of the city centre seems to be more commercialised than usual at this Edinburgh Festival time (sponsored by the Royal Bank of Scotland). We had a quick drink in the Bank Hotel in the Royal Mile where we happened to meet a former work colleague of mine who has just been promoted to a VERY high level. I'm glad for him, he's a good guy, and not just because he was one of the two people who interviewed me for a job which was the starting point for what I laughingly call my career at the moment! It's just as well I wasn't having a clandestine meeting with IF (or a clandy as they're known where I work) as my cover would have been well and truly blown! After that we headed just round the corner to Le Sept Restaurant and had a very nice meal. Then it was a walk up to the Castle Esplanade where IF had her bag searched but I got past the checkpoint unmolested. I always thought she looked dodgy! The show was spectacular, the weather was remarkably good, and the evening was thoroughly enjoyable. They don't half pack in the great unwashed though. Not a lot of room between seats! Afterwards we wandered about until we found a taxi to take us back to IF's sister's house where she was staying overnight and I'd parked my car. So it was half past midnight by the time I reached Glasgow again, and then up again in time to leave for work at 0630hrs!

Last night I did pretty well bugger all. Just lazed about flicking TV channels and occasionally surfing the Interweb. Oh, and drinking scrumpy! A night well spent.

Today was my last actual day working in Stirling. I've taken tomorrow and Friday off as flexi leave. I "just" had an hour of presentation to do before I finished. So anyway, that's another wee chapter come to an end, back to my normal job on Monday which should mean I get to sleep beyond 0600hrs since instead of having an 80 mile round trip each day and starting at Stirling just after 0700hrs, I'm back to it being about a 10 mile round trip and starting a bit after 0800hrs. Hurrah! But no more overtime and travelling expenses. Boo!

Tonight I'm finally getting to catch up with a mate, AD, who I haven't seen for ages. We keep making vain attempts at synchronising our calendars but never quite manage to find a time when we are both available. Well I just live round the corner now, so there's probably no excuse! We're meeting in the Three Judges pub in Partick in about 2 hours time.

I'm about to add some pubs to my Website, there's the three in Lichfield from the other weekend, one in Stirling, and one in Edinburgh. I should have them added in the next couple of days.

Packing

Well I've made a start on packing. I've emptied the filing cabinet and put all the books from the study into boxes. Shouldn't be a problem getting the rest of the house finished before Sunday, I hope!

Was pleasantly surprised when I contacted Sky to try to negotiate myself out of my contract before the 12 month minimum (can't get Sky at the new place) since I fully expected to have to keep paying the full amount until November. Apparently I can join the "six months at 90% discount on two services" scheme (trips off the tongue, eh?) and the bottom line is that the £46 payment I'm due to make on Friday will cover me up to October, then I pay another £10.75 and can then cancel at the end of November (which is when my 12 month contract is up) or can decide to keep paying £10.75 until I move somewhere I can get Sky, the only advantage there being I wouldn't have to pay for a new installation. I think a cancellation will be in order!

A sad comedy

Just finished watching the final episode of Blackadder goes Forth, on UKTV Gold.

For a comedy programme, a bloody good comedy programme, it has to have the saddest, most poignant ending ever. Particularly now, about a week after the 90th anniversary of the start of the battle of the Somme.

If you haven't seen it, go out of your way to watch it if you can.

Phew, what a scorcher!

What a glorious day it's been. Far too warm to be working though! Ten of us from work decided to decamp at lunchtime and miss out on the normal canteen food (which is actually not too bad). We went to Jimmy Chungs in Stirling and ate as much as we could from the buffet, accompanied by lashings of Coke (we were working after all, although the beer was very tempting), and all for five whole pounds (after discount). You can't beat it!

On the way home it rained though, and right now it's still oppressively warm, but very dull and overcast. Thunder looms I suspect. The cats will not be pleased.

On another note, this is the first Thursday of the choir summer holiday and right now I'd usually be in the middle of rehearsal, but instead I'm realising that there really is bugger-all on TV on a Thursday! And that's with all the Sky satellite channels (apart from the pay-extra sport ones) so God alone knows how one would cope if you only had council-telly! Hey, what am I saying? I'm about to be reduced to, at best, Freeview, because the flat I'm going to be moving to doesn't accommodate Sky. Oh well, even more Websurfing might be the order of the day, so perhaps I'll make more progress in researching my family tree, and I'll update my real Website, and ........... ooh, the possibilities are almost endless!

The Meaning of Life

I'm just watching a bit of one of my favourite films on Sky Two right now, Monty Python's Meaning of Life, although I don't know why I'm bothering because I've got it on DVD along with their other films Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and the best one ever, Life of Brian.

Of all their songs, The Galaxy Song from Meaning of Life has to be one of their best! This link is to a great Flash animation of it, and I've reproduced the lyrics below.

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of the galaxy we call the 'Milky Way'.

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.
We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
We go 'round every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.

Pure quality!

Another cracking song is the Medical Love Song

Inflammation of the foreskin reminds of your smile
I've had ballanital chancroids for quite a little while
I gave my heart to NSU that lovely night in June
I ache for you my darling, and I hope you get well soon

My clapped-out genitalia is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure every time I try to pee
My doctor says my buboes are the worst he's ever seen
My scrotum's painted orange and my balls are turning green

My heart is very tender though the parts are awful raw
You might have been infected but you never were a bore
I'm dying of your love, my love, I'm your spirochaetal clown
I've left my body to science but I'm afraid they've turned it down

My penile warts your herpes, my syphilitic sores
Your moenelial infection, how I miss you more and more
Your dobies itch my scrumpox, our lovely gonorrhoea
At least we both were lying when we said that we were clear

Our syphilitic kisses sealed the secret of our tryst
You gave me scrotal pustules with a quick flick of your wrist
Your trichovaginitis sent shivers down my spine
I got snail tracks in my anus when you spirochaetes met mine

Gonoccoccalurethritis, streptocalbalinitis
Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis
Epididymitis interstitial keratitis
Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior uveitis

And then there's the one they've just had on screen, The Penis Song which has to be done in the proper Noel Coward accent

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong
It's swell to have a stiffy
It's divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend
Your Percy, or your cock
You can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock
And you won't come back

Did I mention I've got the complete Monty Python Song Book!

And on another note, Mr Creosote is now onscreen. Waffer-thin mint anyone?

I'd better stop now otherwise this'll turn into a running commentary on the film!

As an aside, I have the complete scripts for Holy Grail and Life of Brian on my Website. I've got the Meaning of Life script on my hard drive but I haven't got round to formatting it for uploading to the Interweb yet.

Technology untamed

Maybe it's because it's still emerging technology, but the signal I'm getting on the wee aerial supplied with the USB stick isn't good enough for the software to actually find any TV stations although it finds lots of radio stations. I think this area is crap for Digital TV reception though, at least that's what the aerial man told us when he gave us a quote to have our aerial fitted when we bought this place 3 years ago, and surely he wasn't lying when he said we'd need the more expensive kit!

At home when I plug the fly-lead from the rooftop aerial into the USB stick I get a frighteningly good reception, and when I stick the supplied tiny magnetic aerial onto a 5ft high empty Calor gas cylinder sitting outside the building I'm currently working in then it again works fine, but the wee aerial on its own just won't find the TV signals. Kind of defeats the purpose of buying the kit so that I can access TV on the laptop really!

Ravages

I've not a lot to say tonight, I'm busy setting up a USB PCTV Stick so I can watch TV on my laptop (only while at home of course, Mr TV Licence Enforcement Officer, otherwise it'd be illegal!)

Instead I thought I'd share these two (genuine) composite images which illustrate the effects of drugs and prostitution over about a 10 year period.

Scary, eh?

Well my advice to you is don't do drugs, and think at least twice before accepting money from strangers for sex!

Unless it's a lot of money maybe.

Imbeciles!

I'm just watching a TV programme about people who believed letters they've received saying they've won huge prizes in foreign lotteries they hadn't even entered. They always then had to pay money out in order to "release" the cash. Tens of thousands of pounds sometimes.

Let me think for a moment, should I have any sympathy for these morons? I think not. They deserve all they (don't) get! People as stupid as that don't deserve to have any money.

Update: One old woman sent the fraudsters £21,000.