Monday, February 23, 2009

Buffalo Theory

In one episode of 'Cheers', Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to Norm.

"Well you see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it's the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers...."

You know it makes sense!


  1. Who is this 'Norm' fellow. And has he any empirical evidence for this theory? (I do hope so!)

  2. Here's some emperical evidence.

    There's only something like ten buffalo left in this country.

    I could probably count all of my neighbors' brain cells on one hand.

    Still, I'd consider the remaining buffalo and those neighbors of mine to be real champions!

  3. That is superb logic. Mind you by that logic it means that my Lenten abstinence is actually detrimental to my well-being. I wonder if the theory works with chocolate too?