In need of what exactly?

Tonight is a very special night in the Lay Clerk household.

Tonight is the annual event in which I participate which involves switching off the television and, just to be on the safe side, unplugging it from the wall!

Yes indeed, tonight is BBC Children in Need night, when the gullible, and easily distracted by shiny things, general pubic join Z-list celebrities, has-beens and never-weres in a frenzy of shite "entertainment" designed to raise money for brats who are probably so underprivileged they don't know from where their next X-Box or iPod is coming.

You can almost smell the tangible smugness oozing from the pores of Terry "oleaginous" Wogan as he presents BBC's annual offering, while no doubt mentally adding up the obscene amount of money he gets paid from my annual TV licence fee for doing so (£9,065 for a 7 hour stint in 2005, for example), and that's over and above the £800,000 he gets paid for hosting the BBC Radio 2 breakfast show. If you'd like to help support Terry financially, and remember, he's the only "celebrity" who accepts a fee for this trashy drivel, feel free to click on the image of the disabled bear at the top of the page. It'll take you to the appropriate BBC page where they can fleece you most effectively.

Anyway, my position is clear, and is illustrated by the image on the right.

Lay Clerk. The Voice of Reason. You know it makes sense!